Popular Craps Sayings

• Popular Craps Sayings Games
• Popular Craps Sayings Funny
• Popular Craps Sayings Images
• Popular Craps Sayings Quotes

Check out our collection of funny gambling jokes. We are sure they will make you laugh. If you have any gambling jokes as good, upload them at the bottom of this page.

1) I just bet £100 at the bookies that they would find Maddie, at 1000-1 odds. Im all in poker gif. That way, if they ever do find her, I'll be able to afford a fucking good lawyer.
Check out Really Funny Lawyer Jokes

2) Chuck-E-Cheese, because it's never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling.

3) My wife has left me because I am a compulsive gambler. I'd do anything to win her back.

This guy's religion is very complicated. In this episode of Next of Ken, we're counting down 50 Of Robin's 'Holy' Sayings From 'Batman' (1966). Funny Gambling Quotes. AT THE TABLES 'When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces, there's only one thing to do: kick over the table.' — Dean Martin 'If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.'

4) Poker is like sex – everyone thinks they're the best, but most people don't have a clue what they're doing. Dutch Boyd
Check out Really Funny Sex Jokes

5) What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? In a casino, you really mean it.

6) A blond girl playing freeroll was taking her time and playing very slow. The timer was started and she still could not take a decision how to play the hand. Her friend asked her with surprise, 'What is going on? Why aren't you playing?' The blond girl replied, 'I am playing! I am just slow-playing aces!'
Check out some of the funniest Dumb Blonde Jokes ever

7) Why didn't the elephant like to play cards in the jungle? Because there were too many cheetahs.

8) They say one in every seven friends have a gambling addiction. My money's on Dave.
Check out Really Funny Money Jokes

9) What did the giraffe say to the tiger at the poker table? I thought you were a cheetah.

10) What's the difference between a poker player and a dog? In about ten years, the dog quits whining.
Check out Really Funny Animal Jokes

11) Whats the difference between online poker and live poker? You can cry after a bad beat online and no one will laugh at you.

Share these gambling jokes with your friends

12) Sign you might have a poker addiction: your kids are named check and raise.

13) I put a thousand pounds on a horse. Installer casino gratuit. The fucking thing collapsed.
Check out some of the best Horse Jokes ever published

14) Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.

15) 'I am looking for the book named ‘How to win easily and fast with poker.'' 'Please check at the fantastic literature counter.'

16. Husband Comes Home After Gambling

I came home from the pub four hours late last night.

'Where the fuck have you been?' screamed my wife.

I said, 'I've been playing poker with some blokes.'

'Playing poker with some blokes?' she repeated. 'Well, you can pack your bags and go!'

'So can you,' I said. Casino lac leamy restaurant banco menu specials. 'This isn't our house anymore.'

17. Professional Gambler Screws Everyone In The Bar

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, 'Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks.'

The bartender said, 'That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first.'

This guy's religion is very complicated. In this episode of Next of Ken, we're counting down 50 Of Robin's 'Holy' Sayings From 'Batman' (1966). Funny Gambling Quotes. AT THE TABLES 'When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces, there's only one thing to do: kick over the table.' — Dean Martin 'If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.'

4) Poker is like sex – everyone thinks they're the best, but most people don't have a clue what they're doing. Dutch Boyd
Check out Really Funny Sex Jokes

5) What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? In a casino, you really mean it.

6) A blond girl playing freeroll was taking her time and playing very slow. The timer was started and she still could not take a decision how to play the hand. Her friend asked her with surprise, 'What is going on? Why aren't you playing?' The blond girl replied, 'I am playing! I am just slow-playing aces!'
Check out some of the funniest Dumb Blonde Jokes ever

7) Why didn't the elephant like to play cards in the jungle? Because there were too many cheetahs.

8) They say one in every seven friends have a gambling addiction. My money's on Dave.
Check out Really Funny Money Jokes

9) What did the giraffe say to the tiger at the poker table? I thought you were a cheetah.

10) What's the difference between a poker player and a dog? In about ten years, the dog quits whining.
Check out Really Funny Animal Jokes

11) Whats the difference between online poker and live poker? You can cry after a bad beat online and no one will laugh at you.

Share these gambling jokes with your friends

12) Sign you might have a poker addiction: your kids are named check and raise.

13) I put a thousand pounds on a horse. Installer casino gratuit. The fucking thing collapsed.
Check out some of the best Horse Jokes ever published

14) Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.

15) 'I am looking for the book named ‘How to win easily and fast with poker.'' 'Please check at the fantastic literature counter.'

16. Husband Comes Home After Gambling

I came home from the pub four hours late last night.

'Where the fuck have you been?' screamed my wife.

I said, 'I've been playing poker with some blokes.'

'Playing poker with some blokes?' she repeated. 'Well, you can pack your bags and go!'

'So can you,' I said. Casino lac leamy restaurant banco menu specials. 'This isn't our house anymore.'

17. Professional Gambler Screws Everyone In The Bar

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, 'Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks.'

The bartender said, 'That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first.'

The guy pulled out a huge wad of notes and set them on the bar. The bartender can't believe what he's seeing. 'Where did you get all that money?' asked the bartender.

'I'm a professional gambler,' replied the man.

The bartender said, 'There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?'

Popular Craps Sayings Games

'Well, I only bet on sure things,' said the guy.

'Like what?' asked the bartender.

'Well, for example, I'll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye,' he said.

The bartender thought about it. 'Okay,' he said.

So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. 'Aw, you screwed me,' said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.

'I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye,' said the stranger.

The bartender thought again and said, 'Well, I know you're not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I'll take that bet.' So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.

'Aw, you screwed me again!' protested the bartender.

'That's how I win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars,' said the man.

With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, 'Bartender, I'll give you one last chance. I'll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whisky bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop.'

The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn't even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. 'Okay, you're on,' he said.

The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whisky bottle.

The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, 'Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!'

The guy climbed down off the bar and said, 'That's okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!'
Check out our awesome collection of Walks Into A Bar Jokes

Liked these gambling jokes? Then share them with everyone you know.

Related Links: 1. Gambling Jokes from Sickipedia.org 2. Gambling Jokes from Jokes4us.com

Liked this page?

Popular Craps Sayings Funny

Popular Craps Sayings Images

Craps seems like a complicated game because there are so many terms and slang for different bets. Learning the lingo can help you understand the game.

Popular Craps Sayings Quotes

• 2-Way: Player betting one roll wager for himself AND the dealers.
• 3-Way Craps: A bet made in units of 3 with one unit on 2, one unit on 3, and one unit on 12.
• Aces: Betting that the next roll will be the total sum of 2. Also called Snake Eyes.
• Any Craps: A bet that the next roll will be 2, 3, or 12.
• Any Seven: A bet that the next roll will be 7.
• Big Red: Another word for seven. Players will not use the world seven at the table.
• Black: Dealer slang for $100 gaming chips which in most casinos are black.
• Bones: Another name for dice.
• Boxcars: Slang for the 12. Also called midnight.
• Boxman: Table supervisor who sits between the dealers and opposite the stickman.
• Box Numbers: These are the place bet numbers; 4-5-6-8-9-10.
• Boys or The Boys: Slang for the Dealers.
• Cold Dice: Expression used to describe the table when no one is making their point.
• Color In: What you say when cashing out smaller valued chips for larger valued chips when leaving the craps table.
• Come bet: A bet made after the point is established. It is exactly like a pass line bet.
• Come out roll: The first roll of the dice to establish a point. ​
• Comp: Complimentary or freebies provided to players based on their action.
• Crap Numbers: The numbers 2,3 and 12.
• Craps Check: Betting on any craps during the come out roll to hedge your pass line bet.
• Don't Come bet: A don't pass bet made after the point is established.
• Don't Pass bet: A bet that the shooter will not make his point.
• Double odds: An odds bet that is twice the size of the original pass/come bet. Some casinos offer higher odds.
• Eye in the Sky: Surveillance department or the cameras in the ceiling to watch the players and dealers.
• Front Line: Another name for a pass line bet.
• Garden: Slang for the field bet.
• George: A player who is a good tipper.
• Green: Dealer slang for $25 gaming chips which in most casinos are green.
• Hard Way: A bet on 4, 6, 8, or 10 that wins only if the dice roll as pairs; 2-2, 3-3, 4-4, 5-5.
• Hi-Lo: A one roll bet on 2 & 12
• Hi-Lo-Yo: A one roll bet on 2,12 & 11.
• Hop bet: A bet that the next roll will result in one particular combination of the dice, such as; 3-5. 2-2, 3-3, 4-4 etc.
• Horn bet: A bet that the next roll will be 2, 3, 11, or 12, made in multiples of 4, with one unit on each of the numbers.
• Horn High bet: A bet made in multiples of 5 with one unit on 3 of the horn numbers, and two units on the 'high' number (number 12).
• Hot Dice or Hot Table: When players are winning or a player is rolling a lot of numbers.
• Inside Numbers: Place bets on the numbers 5-6 -8-9
• Lay bet: A bet that a 7 will be rolled before the number you are placing (4,5,6,8,9, or 10) comes up.
• Lay-Out: The printed area on the felt where wagers can be placed.
• Lay Odds: After a point has been established an additional odds bet can be made that will win if the original don't pass bet wins.
• Little Joe: Slang for a pair of twos or Hard 4.
• Marker: The plastic disk used to mark the point. One side is printed 'on' and the other 'off'.
• Mark the Point: The dealer puts the Puck on the layout to indicate the point number.
• Midnight: Slang for the 12. Also called box cars.
• Natural: A seven or 11 thrown on the come out roll for a winning bet.
• One Roll Bet: A bet in craps that is one or lost in a single roll. ​
• Odds Bet: An additional wager made in addition to the pass line bet.
• Off: What you say to indicate that they are not active on the next roll of the dice.
• Off and On: Refers to the way that Dealers pays off COME BETS when a new come bet is the same number as one already established.
• On: This means that your bets are working or in action.
• Outside Numbers: Place bets on the 4-10 –5-9.
• Parlay: Adding your winnings to an original bet and wagering it all. ​
• Pass Line Bet: A wager made on the come out roll in which you are betting that the shooter will make the point.
• Place bet: A bet that a particular number (4, 5, 6, 8, 9, or 10) will be rolled before a 7 is rolled.
• Point: The number established by the come out roll.
• Proposition Bet: A wager on one of the bets in the center of the layout.
• Right Better: A player with a bet on the pass line.
• Rack: The grooved rail where you keep your chips.
• Seven Out: Expression when a shooter rolls a seven before making their point thus losing the pass line bet.
• Shooter: The player rolling the dice.
• Snake Eyes: Slang for the number 2. Also called aces.
• Stickman: The dealer with the stick that pushed the dice to the shooter and calls the rolls.
• Toke: Another word for a tip.
• World Bet: A bet on the horn numbers along with any seven. (2-3-11-12)
• Wrong Bettor: A player betting against the shooter.
• Yo or Yo-leven: The word used for rolling an eleven so as to not confuse it with 'seven.'